So what's happened? I have been happily living a my life, with my previous journey behind me, watching my family grow into lovely human beings, I am so proud of all of them, then seeing our grand children arriving which is a joy to behold and generally living life now knowing I am no longer immortal, this is a massive step change in how you approach life and through an episode with cancer you learn this very quickly.
I had two thoughts immersed in my brain from my previous journey, that have really resonated further with me over the years 1. irrelevant stuff it really is no longer important, 2. Life is for living and you should live everyday, not fear it, everyday is special and you do not know what is around the corner
In the last year so many things have really started to hit home:
1. Beginning of last year February 2024 my sister suddenly collapsed on the street and passed away from a brain haemorrhage, completely out of the blue, this was a huge shock, she was just walking home on a Monday afternoon from work and bang, gone in an instant, no time for goodbye's, we'd spent a great Sunday with her and we were so fortunate to have had that time, there were no signs or concerns and then a text from my brother-in-law that took an age to understand even in simple words saying she was in hospital and there was no chance of recovery. I held her hand as they turned off the life support, it was a very tough, upsetting, agonising moment, especially when a person you have literally known all your life passes way like this. In some ways good for her, quick, no knowledge, but for those left behind, her family it is so tough and makes you realise that life can be very unfair
2. I then go along to my optician for a regular eye test, she asks if anything is bothering me and I explain about these strange "cloudy" moments coming over my eye, she is worried, thinks I may have an optic nerve problem, does some tests and then bang out of the blue its like not as easy as that I have been having TIA's - Transient Ischemic Attack and looking back I'd probably been having these for a year or so. Long story short, I have a 90% blocked carotid artery (probably caused by the radiotherapy I had all those years ago), so over to the John Radcliffe neurology to have a stent fitted, it's challenging as you remain awake 😝 but it goes in and all sorted, takes me a long while to actually get over this! I think I thought more about dying then than I ever did through my cancer journey previously so this was a bit scary
Have loads of mass nose bleeds as I am now on blood thinners - end up having to go to hospital on the way home from our holiday in France as I have a 3 hour "gushing" bleed - which again is very scary! end up in hospital A&E no English speaking and my school French is shit especially in terms of medical stuff, so its a bit hectic. The French doc does a good job, although I am sure he enjoyed inflicting pain on an Englishman 😂😂
3. and now the real story......So part way through January this year (2025) I notice a lump in the front of my neck, but I am worried as its a hard lump so not like a swollen gland type thing, finally I go and see the doctor after about a week and a bolloxing from my wife, the doc sends me straight off for an appointment on the cancer fast track - a week or so later I meet a very nice doctor Mr MaClaren who is concerned, in fact his words were "this doesn't look good" ok direct, how I like it but the first thing that strikes me is we are off on this journey again and I am not really looking forward to this. But he sets all the initial tests/scans, etc up and does a good job of this.
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