First sips of water

 It sounds like a strange thing to say, but I am now sipping water and have been for the past week.

What's strange is what used to be normal no longer is, it's like I am having to learn how to swallow again and it's not easy. Obviously there is still a lot of swelling in my mouth and neck, especially my tongue which is reducing but still quite obviously swollen, likewise my neck still have swelling but it's also very solid despite exercising it everyday!

The other problem is the loose implant, as this really seems to affect the balance of my mouth, I do now have an appointment with a dental surgeon to look at this but not until the end of September 😝😟

I also now have an appointment with the Thyroid surgeon (end of October) which hopefully when I see him he can decide what's needed as all swelling by then I am hoping has gone, but I guess I'll have to wait and see, after the length of the surgery I am not clear how long the swelling will actually take to disappear - I have been told recovery can be up to six months - just in time for Christmas!

I am waiting to see the speech therapist as this has moved from Oxford NHS to Bucks NHS which I think must go over snail mail as haven't heard anything yet and could really do with getting on with this.

With my swallowing (and I'm sure others going through this must feel the same), I seem to have an inordinate amount of saliva when I am taking sips of water, I'm assuming this is normal, but even the smallest sip seems to generate 2-3 times as much saliva

And this is me today 7 weeks after the op, as you can see my trachy "hole" has completely healed and most of the swelling on the left side of my neck has gone. the right side still has a way to go, but again this is reducing.

I am hoping within the next week this will subside more and I am looking fighting fit for my daughters wedding, where I am pleased to say I will now speak as well as show the video I prepared earlier. I am excited and pleased to be able to do this as it is a very special and proud moment, one that I thought I may not make and certainly wouldn't have made the original date in July.

My fitness is getting better and I do feel stronger and now that I am back in the gym hopefully over the coming weeks and months this will improve.

Next steps for me - when can I drink something (Coffee) other than water, will I be able to sip a glass of wine at the wedding - well I will try and then obviously how do I move to eating real food - the protein drink stuff is so dull! and finally and probably not for a few months yet when can I get this PEG feeding tube out of my stomach, it doesn't really bother me now but that will be a huge "gate" to go through and I will know I am almost back to normal

Until next time stay healthy and safe

All been quiet

 Sorry for the quietness around what's been going on but since Sherlock passed away its been difficult to concentrate on what to update on, but there are a few things that have happened over the past couple of weeks, which has been mainly positive!

14th July 2025

Had my second "leak" test where they check how well you are swallowing, the last one wasn't so good as I had a hole into my jaw and an airway aspiration, so it failed 😝

This time around was much better, the hole had healed and my airway aspiration was much less to the extent the radiographer thought it would be fine. So then it was just a waiting game until the 24th (see below) when I had my appointment with Prof. Winter

Been having a few friends drop in which has been really lovely and so nice to see people and have a chat, you know who you are and thank you, I really appreciate the time and effort you have put in to come and see me so thank you I really appreciate it.

18th July 2025

Picked up Sherlocks ashes today, and it just bring's back all the emotions of losing a good friend, very upsetting and the thought really comes home that he is no longer around, I miss him so much everyday and I think his bro & sis do as well, the house has been so quiet. He was a big presence, but he is home now and we'll ensure he rests in peace.

Also, had a catch up with my GP, which was really useful and he upped my paracetamol and suggested a few other things to sort out my bowels

24th July 2025

Off to the Churchill Hospital and the Blenheim Head & Neck outpatients for my appointment with Prof. Winter, as usual they check your height and weight, and from my peak weight I am 8kgs lighter so not to bad that anyone is going to look a piling more calories down me with these shit shakes you have to take - on that subject my diet now consists of shakes and drugs!

7 shakes 125ml per day

8 paracetamol per day

2 of another drug every night, got a long name which I can never remember 

I'm also taking a daily laxative as these shakes bung you up big time - not the best subject but the important thing when you have cancer or recovering from, it is you keep your bowels working otherwise you can get all sorts of other problems!

Anyway, back to our appointment;

They are very pleased with the progress I have made, and he explains it's now all about the second phase of recovery and really pressing on with that. the good news is that the "leak" test was good enough that I can start drinking "sips" of water - for me this is a massive step and not one you would really think of being that important, but trust me it is, one reason is you know you are moving in the right direction albeit small steps, the other is to get the muscles in your mouth and throat to start working again.

There is still a lot of swelling but as this goes down so it will all become easier, it may take 6 months but its going in the right direction.

Finally some good and not so good news - The got the whole tumour, the cancer has gone, which is a huge relief and if I could drink it would have been worth a glass of champagne - will just have to wait to celebrate that

The not so good news is they found an 8mm tumour on my thyroid gland, but they have emphasised this is not an issue that it can be managed and a decision can be made as to treatment once I am over this current battle, so we'll park it, move on until we need to face the music on it, so no need to worry I have confidence in the Prof. as I am sure if it was a problem he would deal with it quickly

But the important news is my current cancer is gone and that is worth knowing as I can start to rebuild my daily routines, doing my work, get back in the gym, walk my dogs, socialise more with my grandkids and the rest of my family, go off on our family holiday which we've been worrying whether I would be able to go or not, but Prof. gave the green light and said it would be a good break which I agree with - so off to France at the end of August, on the train so should be nice a relaxing 👍

I see the Prof. again in a month, will have further scans in a couple of months and I now pick up with the speech therapist who will help with my swallowing, drinking and eating, so this is the next stage to bash through

A VERY SAD DAY

 12th July 2025

Today is one of the saddest days of my life, my wonderful, beautiful Basset Hound Sherlock passed away, I can't even start to tell you what a loss he is and the hole he leaves is huge. I am absolutely devastated.

Not only that but I needed him more than you would know, he helped me so much through my first bout of cancer and he helped give me that fight to get through it, and I needed him this time so much. 

He was such a gentle soul, an easy going laid back dog, always up to mischief and a real pain in the arse at times, but he was my pain in the arse and I loved him so much. I will never forget him.

At the vets as we said our goodbyes he lifted his head to me as if to acknowledge me, it was one of the most touching things I have ever felt, he then laid back down and slowly slipped away. 

We took Jackson up to see him and to say his goodbyes which again was very moving but also strange in how he didn't really recognise him or understand what was going on with his bro'

We are absolutely lost without him, he was such a big part of our family and can never be replaced, he was with us for over 13+ years, he came back from South Africa with us where we originally bought him from a pet shop in Morningside Mall, that we had to act quickly to get him as another couple were also interested him, but once I picked him up he was never going anywhere but home with us.

So many stories as well, like the night they escaped and ended up in the police station and the picture the police officer sent summed up Sherlock, laying by his feet, eating all the snacks, he certainly loved his food

He was always so pleased to see you especially if I had been away travelling for a while and made it such a joy to see him when you returned home, and the same if you picked him up from the kennels after a holiday, just loved us so much as we loved him

Rest in Peace my friend and I hope its true that dogs come back in a different life because you deserve to and to give your love and happiness to another family, just wish it could be us again.

28th June - 5th July

 Monday comes along and loads of positive talk about going home. The final drain is removed so another big hurdle gone!

All the chat about going home continues, My good friend Angela pops in and we can actually go downstairs to the cafe, where I get a call to say that I can go home - yippee I think, so get back to the ward and pretty much everything is prepared to go....except

One of the surgeons turns up who has had a further look at the hole in my mouth and is not happy, so now not going home, they plug it overnight and want to check the results in the morning which seems reasonable. The following day they have another look, the hole is still there surprise surprise, but now after much debate I can go home.

Kendal has come to see me and it now becomes a bit annoying with the details around going home. To start with the discharge has been a joke!

A young student nurse is sent over to tell me I can go home and have to leave now as they now need the bed, so no bedside manner and I now feel I am being sent home as its convenient to the ward and not necessarily convenient to me, so I'm a bit pissed off to say the least. sThe convo is confirm I can go mow and my daughter will take me home or I'm here until 4pm when my wife can get here!

When the ward sister comes over to my bed to organise the discharge I provide her with my thoughts on this and that its not very satisfactory, she gives me some lame excuses and we pack up ready to go, and thats it, my time in hospital is over - certainly a journey good and bad but on my way home and I feel. much better within myself, be in my own home, see my dogs and have my loving wife to help me, much better situation in my book! Still a long way to go but I think my recovery will be easier at home, loads of appointments being setup and I'll touch on these as they come up

   Tuesday 1st July 2025 a big day 

Arrive home and it does feel good, Carol has setup our downstairs room which is much easier for me and also next to our shower/toilet room , I already feel a lot better, and we'll obviously see how things go in the following days, but feeling good at the moment

21-27th June 2025 - In Hospital

 This week I have spent on the Blenheim Head & Neck ward at the Churchill Hospital

To start the weekend in a hospital is very quiet nothing changes really as the consultants are enjoying a well earned break no doubt and the nursing team is slimmed down the ward also seems quiet

I spend it mainly coughing and spluttering and using the day room as it is boiling hot on the ward even with the fan I have - one problem with the fan is it affects my coughing, making it worse😕

Lovely visits from Carol and Orlanda and we have a walk up the ward, and by the end of the weekend I don't need the zimmer anymore, so progress on that front

Monday comes along and a lot more activity, first off two drains removed from my neck, two more to go, continual checks on the "flap" still all looking good.

Physio comes around and is well pleased I am walking without the zimmer

the rest of the week is much the same except on Thursday they are looking to remove the trachy, first step is to reduce the size of this down, but right at the last minute I get a bleed so this goes ahead but won't be removed, the following day the reduce the trachy down and have 24 hours before they'll look to remove which falls on a "do nothing" weekend but they say it'll get done. 

Friday is the big day, I have half the stitches and clips removed and have my swallow test, so good news on the first but the swallow test is a fail. It turns out (finding out after the weekend - no surprises there) I have a small hole below my tongue that leaks into my jaw (might explain a lot) and also some aspiration in the airway, so have to do this again.

The last drain in my neck is also removed, so just the one in my leg to go

Me with my "smaller" Trachy

 Me with my "smaller" Trachy, doesn't look much different but feels a         world of difference and I can talk 

Saturday 28th June

To finish on a high the trachy is removed!!!🎉🎉 This is another big step ticked off

Blenheim Head & Neck ward

 20th June 2025

I arrive on the ward and am actually coherent and feel a bit more relaxed. Although I am not really sure what day or time it is, but I'm thinking it's not really a problem at the moment. 

At the moment I have 4 drains, one in my leg and three in my neck, a catheter (which is removed later today).

They also performed a tracheostomy which if your not sure what it is its a surgical procedure that creates an opening in the neck to access the trachea (windpipe) for breathing assistance. This opening, called a stoma, allows a tube to be inserted, enabling breathing when the normal airway is obstructed or when long-term mechanical ventilation is needed. I need to ease the stress on my mouth and upper throat so it has some time to heal

It also allows for clearing that can build up in your throat after such an operation and of course I have loads of this shit! which also causes a lot of coughing and to my detriment I find this very uncomfortable over night when trying to sleep - more on that later

I am probably there for a few hours and the physio turns up and tells me we need to get up and moving, I'm like ok, still feeling a bit out of it so hell why not. out comes the zimmer frame (never saw me needing one of these but hey), I am able to sit up and my legs don't feel to bad even though I have at least a 12 inch  incision down the front of my left thigh - a battle wound for the future😊😜

And of we go, there is a technical way to use one of these things, which I hadn't realised, but fairly easy, anyway walk one wobble up the ward and back, I'm told not a bad start and that over the weekend I should move as much as possible.

Some good news is Carol and Orlanda turn up and it is so good to see them, I have a little wipe board so I can write down stuff and tell them about my first walk and we go off for a little one again.

The other big problem is the heat, the hospital is so hot along with the temperature outside its almost unbearable, fortunately I find the day room (with TV) and an open door onto a balcony which generates a nice breeze, so the coolest room on the ward

And this is me post-op (before swelling) first day on the ward, so a cut down from my lip to my lower neck a smaller cut to the left side of my neck and then a longer cut up the side of my jaw on the right to where the flap (as they call it) is inserted for my tongue and is exposed from my neck. Apparently this is one of the tricky parts and it makes the plastic guys and the nursing team nervous because of the complexity in ensuring it has stayed live with blood flow, so they have a little tester where you can hear the blood flow, which they are testing hourly initially.

After a while you realise how your life in hospital will be, the routine, the checks, the drugs and the feeding through my PEG (tube into my stomach). But it's fairly free, you can wander up to the day room whenever, your'e not encouraged to be bed ridden which is good.

Over the coming days/weeks I'll combine the posts so they are not monotonous 

The Big Day has arrived

 18th June 2025

Part 1

Here we are the big day has arrived, and we start early as we need to be at the hospital for 07:00 and as traffic can be tricky getting into Oxford we decide that we'll leave at 06:00, the only good thing is that parking at the hospital should be relatively easy.

Have decided that its not really worth taking anything into hospital as I will be going straight from the theatre to ICU so Carol will bring stuff in as needed.

We get to the hospital and of course the traffic isn't bad and we are the only car in the car park 😂 but we are here.

We walk up to the Theatre admin to find it packed which I guess I shouldn't be surprised at but I am anyway, check-in and wait to be called, which was literally 5 minutes, which I am not surprised at as they have told me that I will be first in (and probably last out). we are put into a room put a lovely gown on and my new dressing gown and wait, again not very long before various people, teams start turning up.

First the anaesthetist talks me through the anaesthetic process and that he is there for the duration, we talk about his long day ahead, but he is very reassuring so all good

The Mr Gore the plastic surgeon pops in runs through the same stuff we have already talked about and again I just have to buy into this - no way out now this is total commitment from me and obviously by them

I am still feeling pretty relaxed, fuck knows why as they keep telling me what I am going to go through and I I should probably be absolutely crapping myself, but I am not, I am ready for the fight and this is round 1 and the hardest round as you have to stay in it to win the fight!

Prof. Winter then turns up and again we go through the process, in his own way he reassures me so the game is on. Carol and I sit in the room for probably half an hour and then the call comes in and it's time to go.

As I leave Carol some apprehension builds and I must admit a few nerves start to jingle but I'm in, fully committed - no turning back, right!

We walk a little way down to theatre 8, there are loads of medical people along the route waiting for their prey (of which I am one of course), straight in and onto the "bed" for tests, checks in what is called the anaesthetist area, he is there ready, we go through the checks he smacks me with the anaesthetic and bang I'm out.

Part 2 and its the 19th June now!

After 16 hours I come round on my way into ICU I catch a glimpse of Carol and Orlanda which is a joy - I am alive, although it feels like I am in hell, pain all over, brain not really functioning, so I just try and sleep, except I am being asked stuff that I really don't know what it means, especially as now I can't talk or write anything coherently.

I feel uncomfortable, my back hurts but just getting loads of questions that I can't answer - this is not a pleasant experience. They tell me I will be out the following day and onto the ward. This doesn't happen for whatever reason so I spend the day (as far as I can remember) dropping in and out of sleep, being man-handled so they can was my back with something I presume to stop sores, and coughing up loads of shit - more on that later.

I just get it into my head I'll start feeling better when I get to the ward......