21-27th June 2025 - In Hospital

 This week I have spent on the Blenheim Head & Neck ward at the Churchill Hospital

To start the weekend in a hospital is very quiet nothing changes really as the consultants are enjoying a well earned break no doubt and the nursing team is slimmed down the ward also seems quiet

I spend it mainly coughing and spluttering and using the day room as it is boiling hot on the ward even with the fan I have - one problem with the fan is it affects my coughing, making it worse😕

Lovely visits from Carol and Orlanda and we have a walk up the ward, and by the end of the weekend I don't need the zimmer anymore, so progress on that front

Monday comes along and a lot more activity, first off two drains removed from my neck, two more to go, continual checks on the "flap" still all looking good.

Physio comes around and is well pleased I am walking without the zimmer

the rest of the week is much the same except on Thursday they are looking to remove the trachy, first step is to reduce the size of this down, but right at the last minute I get a bleed so this goes ahead but won't be removed, the following day the reduce the trachy down and have 24 hours before they'll look to remove which falls on a "do nothing" weekend but they say it'll get done. 

Friday is the big day, I have half the stitches and clips removed and have my swallow test, so good news on the first but the swallow test is a fail. It turns out (finding out after the weekend - no surprises there) I have a small hole below my tongue that leaks into my jaw (might explain a lot) and also some aspiration in the airway, so have to do this again.

The last drain in my neck is also removed, so just the one in my leg to go

Me with my "smaller" Trachy

 Me with my "smaller" Trachy, doesn't look much different but feels a         world of difference and I can talk 

Saturday 28th June

To finish on a high the trachy is removed!!!🎉🎉 This is another big step ticked off

Blenheim Head & Neck ward

 20th June 2025

I arrive on the ward and am actually coherent and feel a bit more relaxed. Although I am not really sure what day or time it is, but I'm thinking it's not really a problem at the moment. 

At the moment I have 4 drains, one in my leg and three in my neck, a catheter (which is removed later today).

They also performed a tracheostomy which if your not sure what it is its a surgical procedure that creates an opening in the neck to access the trachea (windpipe) for breathing assistance. This opening, called a stoma, allows a tube to be inserted, enabling breathing when the normal airway is obstructed or when long-term mechanical ventilation is needed. I need to ease the stress on my mouth and upper throat so it has some time to heal

It also allows for clearing that can build up in your throat after such an operation and of course I have loads of this shit! which also causes a lot of coughing and to my detriment I find this very uncomfortable over night when trying to sleep - more on that later

I am probably there for a few hours and the physio turns up and tells me we need to get up and moving, I'm like ok, still feeling a bit out of it so hell why not. out comes the zimmer frame (never saw me needing one of these but hey), I am able to sit up and my legs don't feel to bad even though I have at least a 12 inch  incision down the front of my left thigh - a battle wound for the future😊😜

And of we go, there is a technical way to use one of these things, which I hadn't realised, but fairly easy, anyway walk one wobble up the ward and back, I'm told not a bad start and that over the weekend I should move as much as possible.

Some good news is Carol and Orlanda turn up and it is so good to see them, I have a little wipe board so I can write down stuff and tell them about my first walk and we go off for a little one again.

The other big problem is the heat, the hospital is so hot along with the temperature outside its almost unbearable, fortunately I find the day room (with TV) and an open door onto a balcony which generates a nice breeze, so the coolest room on the ward

And this is me post-op (before swelling) first day on the ward, so a cut down from my lip to my lower neck a smaller cut to the left side of my neck and then a longer cut up the side of my jaw on the right to where the flap (as they call it) is inserted for my tongue and is exposed from my neck. Apparently this is one of the tricky parts and it makes the plastic guys and the nursing team nervous because of the complexity in ensuring it has stayed live with blood flow, so they have a little tester where you can hear the blood flow, which they are testing hourly initially.

After a while you realise how your life in hospital will be, the routine, the checks, the drugs and the feeding through my PEG (tube into my stomach). But it's fairly free, you can wander up to the day room whenever, your'e not encouraged to be bed ridden which is good.

Over the coming days/weeks I'll combine the posts so they are not monotonous 

The Big Day has arrived

 18th June 2025

Part 1

Here we are the big day has arrived, and we start early as we need to be at the hospital for 07:00 and as traffic can be tricky getting into Oxford we decide that we'll leave at 06:00, the only good thing is that parking at the hospital should be relatively easy.

Have decided that its not really worth taking anything into hospital as I will be going straight from the theatre to ICU so Carol will bring stuff in as needed.

We get to the hospital and of course the traffic isn't bad and we are the only car in the car park 😂 but we are here.

We walk up to the Theatre admin to find it packed which I guess I shouldn't be surprised at but I am anyway, check-in and wait to be called, which was literally 5 minutes, which I am not surprised at as they have told me that I will be first in (and probably last out). we are put into a room put a lovely gown on and my new dressing gown and wait, again not very long before various people, teams start turning up.

First the anaesthetist talks me through the anaesthetic process and that he is there for the duration, we talk about his long day ahead, but he is very reassuring so all good

The Mr Gore the plastic surgeon pops in runs through the same stuff we have already talked about and again I just have to buy into this - no way out now this is total commitment from me and obviously by them

I am still feeling pretty relaxed, fuck knows why as they keep telling me what I am going to go through and I I should probably be absolutely crapping myself, but I am not, I am ready for the fight and this is round 1 and the hardest round as you have to stay in it to win the fight!

Prof. Winter then turns up and again we go through the process, in his own way he reassures me so the game is on. Carol and I sit in the room for probably half an hour and then the call comes in and it's time to go.

As I leave Carol some apprehension builds and I must admit a few nerves start to jingle but I'm in, fully committed - no turning back, right!

We walk a little way down to theatre 8, there are loads of medical people along the route waiting for their prey (of which I am one of course), straight in and onto the "bed" for tests, checks in what is called the anaesthetist area, he is there ready, we go through the checks he smacks me with the anaesthetic and bang I'm out.

Part 2 and its the 19th June now!

After 16 hours I come round on my way into ICU I catch a glimpse of Carol and Orlanda which is a joy - I am alive, although it feels like I am in hell, pain all over, brain not really functioning, so I just try and sleep, except I am being asked stuff that I really don't know what it means, especially as now I can't talk or write anything coherently.

I feel uncomfortable, my back hurts but just getting loads of questions that I can't answer - this is not a pleasant experience. They tell me I will be out the following day and onto the ward. This doesn't happen for whatever reason so I spend the day (as far as I can remember) dropping in and out of sleep, being man-handled so they can was my back with something I presume to stop sores, and coughing up loads of shit - more on that later.

I just get it into my head I'll start feeling better when I get to the ward......

Day 17 - t-1

 The night before, meant to have had a relaxing evening and still working 😝 anyway almost done, and you sort of forget everything you have to sort out, or even not being aware when your in hospital for so long

So checklist for me is:

• Tech bag packed for recovery - laptop, iPad, chargers, phone, notepad
• Books, I reckon for a month I'll need 3 maybe 4 books
• Wallet - not sure I'll spend any money but towards the end of my lovely stay I might or if I order stuff online
• PJ's at least two pairs
• non-slip socks - really will not want to fall or slip over
• Dressing gown
• Slippers
• Clothing not to sure, something later but probably a few pairs of pants, t-shirts and shorts

oh and the drugs you usually take, whilst the hospital take care of this you should supply some

finally I'd like to thank all those that have followed my blog, I will keep I going and sharing but also to all those that have sent me positive thoughts, good energy and love, I am so grateful to have a wonderful family, good friends and colleagues, in these circumstances you can't ask for more than that

my love to all and as they say "I'll see you on the other side"

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Day 16 - t-3

 The final few days, it seems to have been endless but then I creeps up on you and BAM! your there, so we are here in this week of June 2025, for one of the biggest episodes of my life, with something like this of course there is apprehension, loads of things pass through your mind, but the key I think is stay strong, stay positive, lean on the support of friends and family - both of which have been amazing for me and I can't thank them enough for rallying around - I am so grateful

So, unless anything dramatic happens and it gets cancelled at the last minute I am now just a couple of days away from this major event in my life.

I have got it in my head it will be life changing (I have been told numerous times) but haven't really understood what that will mean - are they basing it on my life of travel and work, and running around all over the place, or is it more fundamental than that and I guess until post op I won't really know, all I do know is that I will have a fight on my hands and the key will all be in recovery and following the rules for that - easy to say I know but hey I wouldn't be me without breaking the rules 😄😜

So as per usual not really sure what I need to take into hospital with me so I think for this initial stage - nothing, as I have this long surgery followed by 2-3 nights in ICU so wouldn't be doing much anyway, so I'll pack up my stuff tomorrow and Carol can bring this in when I am back on the main ward. I will then be there for 3-4 weeks, and hopefully I can sort myself out and recover slowly and well and look forward to enjoying my daughters wedding

It remains for me to thank those who have sent me good wishes and support its totally appreciated and the support is great so again thank you

Anyway, here is a picture pre-op - might not send one post, especially if I am looking like Quasimodo 😝 (apologies to Quasi for using him as an example 😝)

Fathers Day - Day15 - t-4

 So what have we been up to....

Well a pretty long drive back from Cornwall on Friday (13th June) as the traffic was insane pretty much all the way from Newquay to past Bristol, we did detour via Nkuku, had a great bacon roll and a good look around, again managed not to buy anything! I find their stuff looks really good, but most of it is seriously overpriced although we do still like the Deni chair 😜

Yesterday 14th June 2025 was lovely we were invited around to some good friend of ours quite spontaneously which was really nice, thinking we'd stay for an hour or so, but think in the end we probably outstayed our welcome as we left about 4hours later 😂

Today 15th June 2025 is fathers day and also more importantly my daughter will reveal her baby, I am reckoning on a boy, but I guess there is a 50/50 chance it could be a girl 😂😂😂

As we get closer to the day I have been trying to think if I have mentally changed, have a got more worried, or scared about what I will face and I think (and I don't know why) I haven't had and changes in my thinking, I am still 100% up for this, I think I'm more worried about incidental things than the op itself, for example, how soon will I be able to clean my teeth 😧, how quickly will I be able to get up and about - I guess I will know in a few days.

I think the other thing that makes me possibly feel calm is the fact that I know the guys doing this op are real experts, I trust them and I know they will do their best for me, I can't ask anymore than that

from our Cornwall trip a few places we visited and where we like to be, there are other places but this is what we managed this week

View out from Port Isaac, this is a great little fishing village on the north cost of Cornwall, definitely worth a visit

This is one of my favourite seafood restaurants (in the world I'll add), the fish as you can imagine being in Newlyn is super fresh and the menu is fantastic. If you're visiting I would highly recommend - its very popular, you can't book but if you have to queue its worth the wait, which normally isn't to long!

This is a view from Newlyn looking back towards Penzance and the famous St. Michael's Mount again really worth a visit

Day 11 - t-8

So a few things happening over the past few days!

Had a great lunch with my brother and sister-in laws at Pluma in Amersham, great tapas restaurant and a lovely lunch/afternoon

We then had the grandkids over on Sunday after the little kickers football, I hadn't seen them play in ages and they have come on really well! 

Then off to Cornwall with the dogs - a really easy journey down to Cubert, where we have rented this delightful little cottage. It's a lovely spot just west of Newquay

The weather has been a bit up and down but today was lovely, really warm, we found this walk that was ideal for the dogs and just around the corner, that if you wanted to you can walk to Crantock, or down to Holywell Bay beach and/or Polly Joke beach (as it's called locally), 

Then over to Port Isaac to buy our annual wood carving Whale which we really like and finally on the beach with the dogs at Rock, which is a lovely huge sandy beach and dog friendly all year round, they really enjoyed the beach

We had our son and his girlfriend over for dinner and as he lives down near Falmouth it is always great to come down and see them. He is off to Malaysia for two weeks filming and photographing for the UN & Greenpeace on what's sounds like a fascinating project thats really changing that country

I have also been testing the new version of our App which covers Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) and so far so good, a few bugs as you'd expect but overall progressing well and I should be able to widen the testing circle before I go into hospital which will be a great step forward for us.

Finally, with only a few days now to go before the big event, I have to say I have felt fairly relaxed although this may change as we get through the weekend and into the final hours before kick-off 😝 A final few days in Cornwall, hopefully with good weather, we have a huge storm blowing through just now this evening, but hopefully well see the sun before we drive back on Friday

Day 3 - t-15

 3rdJune 2025

It's a bit of a chill day, whilst I get over the sedation - 24 hours before your really meant to do anything like drive, make big decisions, etc so just taking it easy this morning.  

Over the coming weeks a number of quiet days just so I can get my head around what I am going to go through, and then as I get closer to the day not to be over-thinking it and just leave to the skilled professionals that I have on this team to do the best they can for me.

Going away next week down to Cornwall with our 3 lovely dogs for the week so a nice relaxing break, walking on the beach in the rain or sun doesn't matter and have some of Cornwall's great seafood options, go to one of our favourite restaurants in Newlyn - Mackerel Sky and also to a great  cafe in Sennen where they make amazing crab rolls

We also have our fav shop, well Carol's which is in Porth called Roo's and also see my son and his fiancé as they live in Penryn so I'm really looking forward to next week which will be a good break for us both

Day 2 - t-16

 2nd June 2025

So, today is about my colonoscopy

First I have to take round two of this drink at 07:00

So, do that and OMG it's like your bowels go through a washing machine a proper cleanup with suds 😝

This again requires I think it was at least 5 trips to the loo 😜

Then about 12:00 its off to the JR Endoscopy outpatients clinic for the procedure, I have to say having not eaten for 24 hours you feel really crap and I really feel for people that are struggling in the world with hunger, and I've had a small amount of time in comparison so I find this very sad thinking about this

At 1pm I have the procedure - fairly straightforward, especially with a bit of sedation - didn't feel a thing as they removed 6 polyps! not sure if thats a high number or not but glad they have gone, especially as one was apparently beginning to look a bit dodgy!

Onto the recovery ward for like half an hour - manage to scoff so many biscuits with my cup of coffee - have decided that I really like bourbon biscuits 😂

The Endoscopy team at the JR are very professional and always very pleasant to you, no messing about either in on or near your appointment time and Nike it! I have to say the sedation certainly helped - I didn't feel a thing 😂😂

Carol, picks me up and off home, now they say for 24 hours don't do this or that and we go into Thame for a decent coffee, well in my case a hot chocolate and a piece of carrot cake from Gail's and a bit of shopping - should have listened to them as I then spent a fortune, well a few quid anyway, but I think this was a big weight of my mind as deep down this really bothered me for some reason and with everything else going on I really didn't feel good about it, so glad to get it out the way with no dramas!

Anyway, all good, get home have a decent meal of homemade lasagne which is really yummy! and a couple of the desserts Carol made that I couldn't enjoy yesterday - they were divine!

But, absolutely knackered and off to bed early

Countdown begins - Day 1 t-17

 1st June 2025

So, today consisted of three things really, which made it quite busy with good stuff well two of them at least😀 plus a few other bits and pieces in the garden and our "new" art room:

1. and the most important was my daughters "family hen party" the "friends" one was last week. Have to say tried to stay out of the way most of the day and I'll explain why more in point 2, but they were having great fun and really enjoying themselves which is wonderful to see

2. I had to start preparing for my colonoscopy, which if you have ever had one you probably know what I am going to outline 😝

    a. The day before the procedure you can't eat after 1pm and you have a timetable - a low fibre breakfast at 07:00 - which is well early these days for me 😜

    b.  had a nice homemade soup for lunch no later than 1pm and then its just water or clear fluid which is slightly bizarre as it includes black tea or coffee

    c. You then take the first stage of the "drink mix" that is seriously going to clear you out - I've been told it tastes really bad but tbh it wasn't that bad, just loads of it like 500ml anyway at 6pm I take this drink and wait

    d. around half an hour or so later it begins at least 5 visits to the loo - I'll say no more as you can probably guess

3. My eldest daughter is studying to become a reflexologist and I am her current case study, so today I get to have my third treatment of four as part of this

I find it so relaxing, always fall asleep and she is so conscientious and gentle it's amazing. what delights me even more is that she is already beginning to get paying customers which she thoroughly deserves for all the hardworking she is putting into this, and with repeat business so she is obviously doing the right thing, I would definitely pay her for this as having had reflexology before she is by far the best! that might sound like favouritism but its actually true!

Also, a special thought for my sister whose birthday it would have been today, it's still seems surreal that she passed away just over a year ago, she was younger than me and still quite a shock and the time just goes by so quickly, I think people just get on with their lives obviously but when days like today come along it brings back a reminder of how special life is and how you should spend your time living it, as like with what I am going through now you just don't know what is around the corner

And to top it all I finished re-laying part of our deck that had rotted away so a job I really didn't need but had to do 😆

Anyway done for the day and off to bed fairly early as I have to get up for round two tomorrow!